No, drunk sperm still make babies.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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