You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
