You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
