i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
