Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
