I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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