I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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