he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
