Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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