I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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