Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I will be naked everywhere
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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