I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
