Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I should be sponsored by Trojan
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
