he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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