She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
