I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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