I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So squirting runs in the family.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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