Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
