if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hippo gnu deer
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
