the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
