so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
