He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
His nipple licking is glorious
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