Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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