Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
