wrigley field is MILF paradise
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
