My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
