I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
