We're like a lot better than the average bears
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You are a genius and a whore.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
