I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
