i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You are a genius and a whore.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
