Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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