I need help removing her.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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