I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
