I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
