Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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