I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
