those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
