Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
