this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
