do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
