Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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