i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I need to stop coming to work sober
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
