I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
