pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
