Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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