I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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