He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
