Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
