Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
