just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
