My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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